Starting fresh

This past Sunday, it became official: I am now serving my second term as an elder in my church, as made official by my installation during the worship service.

I was first ordained and installed as an elder in this same church five years ago, at which point I served my first three-year term. After a two-year break, I was invited to serve again. I accepted the invitation after much internal debate and prayer. How to discern whether or not I am saying yes (or no) out of a sense of selfishness, obligation, guilt, flattery or genuine calling? I suspect that my ultimate decision -- I did say "yes" -- can only be attributed to a combination of motives. My theology tells me that, as a human being living in a good-but-fallen world, that's the only real possibility.

As I stood on the chancel of the church with Marc, Marion and Tom, who were also being "re-installed" to eldership, I was humbled by the liturgy found in the Presbyterian Church (USA) worship book. We were reminded of Jesus' life and his call upon our lives. To be last is to be first, to be a leader in His Church means to be a servant of all. And as I subsequently served communion for the first time in over two years, I was awed by the words I was privileged to speak to my fellow worshippers: "This is God's body, broken for you."

I'm not so good at the servant thing, but I want to be. It's a blessing to be reminded that serving on session isn't really about meetings and paperwork and long lists of things to do. It's about using my God-given talents and gifts to serve those in this congregation and ultimately, those who need to hear the good news that Jesus loves them right where they are, faults and all. It's about stepping up to the plate, stepping out in faith, putting myself in a position where God can use me. It's about opening myself to the possibility that I can be God's instrument, bringing new life and transformation, even as He continues to breathe His Spirit into me and draw me closer to becoming the person He created me to be. Perhaps I am meant to serve in this place at this time.

God, help me to make myself completely available to you, to serve you fully, for such a time as this.